A better hope

I stared at the sun
The sun that was, 8 minutes ago.

In the night I faced the dotted sky
I saw the light from back in the time
History cupped over my head
And I stared again, at the past above me.

What is behind me..
Just blank white space ?
All that turns into colors and feelings
The moment I turn back at them

I wish I could turn around and
See the unilluminating white
The emptiness of it, and the lie it holds for me

Still, somewhere in that nothingness..
I'll find you
Standing all in the same red dress
Smiling sweet and eyes as wide..
Just because you were so real
You, and all about you

A wishing star flew..
- the history of it.
I guess it knew.



I was reading Stephen Hawking while inspired by this idea. The poem is not entirely imaginative. The lines have some truths of science in them. And only with them, that the poem is complete.

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Setting forth in the universe

These days I'm not exactly doing what I like.
I knew this all along, but the feeling just gets stronger at times.
Sad thing is that I can't find TIME to do the things I like.
If I bunk the things I dislike for the things I like, I know that I'll have to end up doing more things I don't like..

I think its too late the Government implemented some control on budding up professional colleges - Engineering and Medical.
They're too much in number out there, and they're taking in money for letting in anyone into their institutions.
I don't understand how the coming generation can rely on doctors who were once big failures in their classes, and who gave lakhs to get into a Medical college.
I don't understand why Engineering should become the final destination of everyone who passed the Higher Secondary.

Artists, singers, journalists, innovators.. all are studying Convergent Series and figuring out C++ codes. And they're gulping texts.
This is what we've been doing all the life so far. Eating texts. And just when we think its time that we eat some change, we're still served the same ol' dish**!
Why has our society become so narrow minded?!

I wish if recession hit so hard that it'll bang open people's eyes and let them look around and see the change.. all around them.. just lying there.
Then I have a trouble of job? A career?
I seriously don't mind. It'll be salvation!

May be I should stop thinking about running away.
May be I should not be Into the Wild inspired.
Dig into your books and stop thinking about going out and living your life, et !!

And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
Because when you have more than you think
You need more space
Into the Wild OST

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Smaller, lighter things

Today I saved a butterfly from a spiderweb.
Does it make my day any beautiful? Or awesome?
..like walking into simpler things in the morning and doing little acts of random kindness.. ?

For the spider, it was its food. Wasn't I disgracing it for its not-so-awesome not-so-comparable-to-beauty-of-life eight legged anatomy? I think saving the butterfly was like people showing partiality over pretty girls(or hot gals, for that reason!) in town - just letting them fly away in colors while making life miserable to seemingly unattractive people(in the cob webs).

But we.. are people, and that's what we do. And its really enjoyable. It makes our day. Makes it awesome. Reasons to be happy.

Or is it?

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Tag - At the moment of truth

Finally, I am recovering from my illness, physically and mentally. I have a variety of coloured oval tablets to take in. And there is a helluva lotsa work in pending. I'm still the same ol' crazy anyhow. It's nice to have some constants in life, as Colin says.

Time for fun!

I took this somehow-truncated tag up from Azra! with even more truncations

The custom rules are..

Rule #1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent

Rule #2
There is no rule #2 ! :P

And here goes..

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
innocent ewww!

Asked someone to marry you?
innocent don't do something today while you can still do it tomorrow

Ever told a lie?
EVERYBODY IS GUILTY

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back?
ugh? just grab them back.. o what?
well.. human mind is mysterious than god himself claims to be..
hence guilty

Kissed a picture?
hahaha.. umm.. may be guilty

Slept in until 5 PM?
guilty tnQ tnQ tnQ..

Danced on a table in a bar?
innocent did what? on a what? in a whaaat?!

Fallen asleep at work/school?
down on the desk.. guilty!

Been suspended from school?
innocent nay.. i'm that little nice guy you see around schools

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
innocent self sustainability is my dream.. and yeah.. sometimes dreams are better off as dreams

Stolen from a store?
little guilty uhuh.. yes.. there's an undoubted pleasure in owning something for free. Anyways i'm not THAT into it

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
guilty i can't control it when i really laugh(people often use this against me.. sadistic mass of the society)

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
guilty early morning 5.30, chilling road, sleeping birds.. in my dream :(

Kissed in the rain?
innocent i doubt that my mom reads my blog

Sat on a roof top?
guilty I have no idea how much freaked out mom had been when she use to scream at me

Sang in the shower?
guilty some people are not born sadistic.. situations make them up

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
innocent nay, either i resist pushing.. or.. i'm pretty well dressed FOR the pool

Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
guilty once may be, but hey i did make it up.. i always make it up to people!

Shot a gun?
guilty crackle gun, water gun.. anytime

Donated Blood?
innocent just give ME some

Eaten alligator meat?
innocent but i don't care

Still love someone you shouldn't?

I don't know, and i mean it

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

guilty it happens

Been too honest?
guilty basically i'm too honest (really)

Kissed someone you shouldn't?

innocent i told you.. my mom

Ruined a surprise?

guilty something i enjoy a lot, unless it's somehow mine!

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk afterwards?

guilty delicious food of my likes is yet another thing i can't resist

Erased someone in your friends list?

guilty not guilty about that - just unnecessary junks that accumulate on the long rush and spam

Dressed in a woman's clothes [if you're a guy] or guy's clothes [if you're a girl]?

guilty I have performed award winning female figures at teh dramas!

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

guilty At the risk of sounding boasty.. let me say.. totally totally meant what they said!!

Had communication with your ex?

innocent i believe there should not be.. (or i console myself so) :|

Got totally drunk on the night before your exam?

guilty drunk with dark coffee, drunk with technical crap

Go on.. take up the questions and answer yourselves if you liked it! :)

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Principia Statika

The mind is just an unwinding sequence of code to the developing science; no more the mysterious entity which finds place in our heart or brain. Science says that everything is so DEFINED. So static in the microscopic level. Even the concept of soul has been mapped to some given physical and chemical state of brain.

Memories, are again, a thing of beauty decoded even before - and assigned to particular connections of the neurons and their fluctuations. It's still fascinating how we discover more things to each smell, sight, sound and location. Sometimes things around us go so un-noticed upto certain point, and then suddenly they bump into us, either embarrassing us, or overwhelming.

Last week for me was all discovery of thy room. I was hit by a series of burning fever, chilling cold and finally a dead-beat tiredness. Throughout the week, the physical existence of me the self has been reduced to half and the supposed-to-be-thinking-beyond-imagination mind stomped down into the four walls of my own room.

Exams, sickness... things that make ourselves feel SO MUCH AT HOME.
So much.
Too much.
Once again everything is so defined. Static.

Where do we find the change?
Where is the inspiration?

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